Friday, March 18, 2016

Oh where, oh where have my brain cells all gone?

Oh where, oh where have my brain cells all gone? Oh where, oh where can they be?  With my husband deployed and my kids late for school, oh where oh where can they be?

My husband is deployed, but I really can't complain because it's much shorter than it has been in the past and yet it still feels like it's taking !

You know, when he told me about this upcoming deployment, I got super organized.  I even wrote a goal sheet. Yes, annoying I know.  But I had all of these wonderful intentions of getting everything I had put to the way side, finally done.

And so for the first, say 3-4 days, I was like a Tasmanian devil up in here.  I started on sock drawers tossing the lonely singleton's, making my way to closets, stuffing our over abundance of all the things, into a ginormous donation bag for Salvation Army, I stock up on groceries and pinned crafty activities for the kids and I to do, and you know what I felt accomplished for a minute.

But since then... the two books that were on my goal sheet to be complete have yet to be opened, the website I was supposed to design, welp still nothing, oh and the waking up for 'me time' every morning before the kids, yeah let's not talk about that.

I mean seriously, I am zonked!  *I blame day light savings.

Now, as we are a few weeks into this whole separation thing, I have decided to give myself a little grace.  The self-bashing that has been in my head the last couple weeks, I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy!

So from here on out, this is what I am going to do, it's not rocket science or anything, but I will accomplish one thing everyday.  Now, I am including taking the kids to school on time! High fives for that right there!  I will also include a hot dinner on the table for me and my littles a small, yet satisfying success.

Maybe you too have felt that you are failing because all of your to do's that are still undone.  Listen, I am giving you a pass today.  Take deep breaths, find your zen, have a glass of wine and throw in some chocolate and smile because you are doing the best you can and I am too.

"Don't worry, about a thing, because every little thing, is going to be alright." Oh, Bob Marley I adore you and will gladly take your advice.

Cheers to Friday friends!


Thursday, March 10, 2016

A letter of hope

Dear Mother in law,

I'm writing this letter to you, to give you an update on our family. We think of you often and pray for you daily and hope one day that we will see you again...

To start off, I wanted to fill you in on our lives with our two precious girls who are both incredibly sweet and have an abundance of curiosity.

Sophie is in first grade and has gotten straight A's this year.  She has God in her heart and reminds us how blessed we truly are.  She performed in the Nutcracker twice now and lives up to her middle name, she is definitely full of grace. She asks about her Granny often and when she will see you again, questions we can not answer, but instead we pray that we will have you in our life again.

And Gia, she has more spirit in her little body and has a way of commanding a rooms attention with just her smile.  She is in preschool now at our church and is enjoying socializing and learning in a group setting.  She started ballet this year and is tiptoeing her heart out trying to keep up with her big sister. She asks about who you are and why she hasn't seen you, but for now we show her pictures and again we pray.

Your son.  Your unbelievably intelligent, hard-working, family loving son.  He is everything to me and the girls.  What an amazing man you raised.  Jake is serving our country and flying the stealth bomber, a dream come true for him.  How proud you would be of all he has accomplished.  As a Father he is present and the girls are smitten with him.  Before bedtime he sings songs from his childhood that you once sang to him and tells the three of us childhood stories of the loving Mother that you were to him when he was young.  Helping him with his science eco-system project, caring for him when he was sick and how on Sundays he and his sister would put together a newspaper to bring in to you in the morning.

Lastly there is me, your daughter in law.  I am keeping busy with running the household and blessed to be a stay at home Mom.  I know you know the beauty and the struggles of taking care of everyone and hope one day we can talk over tea about how Jake was as a child when he was only a boy.  Until then, I will continue to pray that the two of you let down your guards and surrender the past.

I felt a pull in my heart to write this.  I don't know if you will read it or not.  I hope that you will.  You are loved by your grandchildren even if they have only a handful of memories of you.  You are loved by your son even if you haven't heard the sound of each others voices in years.  And I have love in my heart for you as well, as the Mother of my husband.

My hope is that before 2016 comes to an end, there will be answered prayers and healed hearts.  And maybe if the stars align, you will sing, Nani Nani, the lullaby you sang to Jake, while holding your grand girls.